An example of Paradise's correspondence with the parents of a UK school pupil

Day 1 (day of arrival). 01/09/2024

[01/09/2024, 21:02:01] Anastasia: Good evening, Roman and Anna!

How are you? How's Mark?

What are your first impressions?

Day 2 of being at school. 01/10/2024

 

[10.01.2024, 13:22:47] Anastasia: Good afternoon, Roman and Anna!

Thank you for your answer

We're glad to hear that you liked everything)

We understand your and Mark’s experiences, this is certainly an exciting new stage, but everyone will adapt and everything will be fine.

Anna, I understand about English, I’ll write to school)

Thank you!

[10.01.2024, 20:16:52] Anna: Good evening. Is it also possible to write to the school to allow Mark to call us once a day for the next two weeks while adaptation is underway?

There is no news from the school yet. Like yesterday they gave it at 19:00, I haven’t called or written yet.

[10.01.2024, 20:28:10] Anastasia: Anna, good evening!

Please let me know today how Mark will contact you before lights out

I’ll write House parent right now

[10.01.2024, 20:35:36] Anastasia: The boys have curfew until 20:30

Today is a day without phones, but Mark has access to Skype through a desktop computer in the house

Please give me your Skype so that I can immediately try to organize your meeting with Mark

[10.01.2024, 20:49:36] Anastasia: Anna, Roman, I wrote to the school, immediately gave you your Skype, perhaps they will call you right away without warning) Therefore, if possible, keep your phone nearby or a device with Skype

There are still 3 hours until lights out

[10.01.2024, 21:51:55] Anastasia: Anna and Roman, we understand your feelings

But such rules for using mobile phones were created for the benefit of children, this is true)

I will try to explain to you, maybe it will calm you down a little

During adaptation, such limited communication with parents allows you to quickly integrate into the life of the school

The child is busy, he is distracted

If a child constantly keeps in touch with his parents, discussing how they miss each other (which is more than natural), then this can upset the child, and everyone will start to worry

We are used to living with a phone in our hands, having the opportunity to find out at any moment how someone is doing, so such school rules seem harsh to us, but in fact, on the contrary, such rules take into account the psychological characteristics of children’s development)</ span>

The most important thing I want to say is that if the school doesn’t write, then this means only one thing - everything is fine

Tomorrow, according to the rules, Mark will have access to the phone and he will definitely call you

[10.01.2024, 23:07:07] Anna: Markusha called, everything is fine)

Just says clothes are a lot of trouble, you constantly need to change clothes, a lot of clothes)


Day 3 of being at school. 01/11/2024

[01/11/2024, 10:16:18] Anastasia: Good morning, Anna and Roman.

Great, glad you talked and Mark is doing well.

Day 4 of being at school. 01/12/2024

[01/12/2024, 12:33:45] Anastasia: Good morning, Anna and Roman!

I hope everything is fine with you)

The school responded to us regarding additional English classes for Mark. They will test it and return to us with the result and recommendations.

I am in touch with them, as soon as I receive the information, I will write to you immediately.

Have a wonderful Friday!

[12.01.2024, 13:09:46] Anna: Good afternoon.

They have French and other languages there. Would it be appropriate to ask not to include any other language other than English in the program for now?

[01/12/2024, 01:10:48 PM] Anna: Mark didn’t call yesterday. But they sent the photo by email). They were taken somewhere.

[12.01.2024, 13:11:14] Anna: Some kind of excursion with Harry Potter

[12.01.2024, 13:11:48] Olga Karpova Paradise: Anna, good afternoon)

[12.01.2024, 13:11:56] Olga Karpova Paradise: Great, departures have begun)

[12.01.2024, 13:12:46] Olga Karpova Paradise: Regarding French. It is on the mandatory curriculum, all students study it. It would not be entirely appropriate to ask the school to make any exceptions, because the rules are the same for everyone.

[12.01.2024, 13:13:38] Olga Karpova Paradise: Usually, if the school notices any difficulties, it goes all out to help. In a couple of weeks we will check with the tutor how adaptation is happening, what can be said about the first results

[12.01.2024, 13:13:56] Anna: Well, let him study

We would have preferred German then).

[12.01.2024, 13:14:49] Anna: But they don’t seem to have German (.

[12.01.2024, 13:15:07] Olga Karpova Paradise: Now we’ll see, we’ll get back to you)

[12.01.2024, 13:17:59] Anastasia: Anna, we checked, there is no German in the program

[01/12/2024, 01:19:00 PM] Anna: Okay, this isn’t that important yet. We need an emphasis on English. Further, how it goes)

 

Day 5 of being at school. 01/13/2024

[01/13/2024, 13:13:00] Roman: Good morning,

Colleagues, please write to the school so that during the first 2 weeks of his stay at school he will be given a phone to call every day. Please frame this request as a polite request, not a wish. They can definitely do this and will do it at your request.

[13.01.2024, 13:13:54] Anna: We heard Mark only once, on Wednesday.

[13.01.2024, 13:16:08] Olga Karpova Paradise: Anna, Roman, good afternoon :)

[13.01.2024, 13:47:46] Olga Karpova Paradise: We understand that you miss Mark very much. I would like to take you back to what we discussed at the meeting.

British schools strictly follow the rules, no one can break them. And never. We cannot demand that the school be allowed to break the rules, it would be wrong and unprofessional. Schools want both children and parents to follow the rules.

At the same time, I still understand your excitement and concern, but there is no news from the school that something is wrong, that there are any problems – this is a good sign.

Below I duplicate the rules for using telephones:

Students are allowed to use their own mobile phones on Tuesday, Thursday and one day on weekends. All calls must end by 8:30 pm to avoid disturbing the other boys. Children have access to Skype, Zoom and MS in the boarding house in the evenings if needed (your Skype was sent to school on Tuesday as you requested).

That is, Mark can call you on Skype on days when using the phone is not allowed.

We will definitely ask the school to remind Mark at first that his parents are waiting for his call. We will write to them today and ask about this, since tomorrow, on a day off, Mark will have access to the phone.

I myself have repeatedly witnessed how children, leaving and immersing themselves in a vibrant school life, disconnect from their previous life) Remember, I said at the meeting that you will need to call him a little less in the first days just so that adaptation happens faster.

I duplicate House parents’ contacts for you so that you can communicate directly with him (write a letter or call in case of urgency):

I hope that today or tomorrow you will be able to chat with Mark, he will tell you how he is doing)

[01/13/2024, 15:26:25] Anastasia: Good afternoon, Roman and Anna

Please read the school’s response that just arrived:

[01/13/2024, 15:26:31] Anastasia: Dear Anastasia,

I am very sorry that Mark has not called as often as the parents have expected. When he called off the school phone earlier in the week, this because we could not find his mobile phone charger. It has since been found and his phone is charged, ready to use.

I showed Mark the Skype application, and he did not seem to understand how to use it, but he said he could WhatsApp call on his mobile phone, so we shall try to do this before lunch today (approx 12.45 pm English time).

As per our school handbook which I sent last week (I hope it was received), we try to encourage the boys to call 3 times a week. This is on a Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday usually, and due to time difference it would probably be best if Mark calls at break time, which is 10.45am English time. Unless parents would prefer for him to call in evening (when it would be late for them). We will of course give Mark his phone more regularly if necessary, for example if he seems upset or requests to speak to his parents.

Mark has made a good start to boarding, and seems to be understanding our routines. He has been quiet, but we think this is mainly due to the language barrier and getting used to speaking and hearing a lot of English. A year 8 pupil who speaks Russian has been supporting him, and we will continue to use this relationship to assist Mark in his first term at school. The only time where Mark has seemed a little anxious is with school sport, where he was frustrated that he needed to get changed into a different outfit again!

I hope this email helps, but please do get in touch whenever needed. I am very much here to support and make Mark's transition to boarding school as easy as possible.

[13.01.2024, 15:27:31] Anastasia: If you need a translation, please tell me.

[01/13/2024, 15:54:28] Anna: Thank you.

Let Mark call at any time convenient for him. Write please. And, it’s better that Mark is reminded at the appropriate time to call  what are we waiting for  news from him.)

And let's hope that Mark is not under too much stress.

[01/13/2024, 16:04:26] Anna: Hurray, Mark called

Everything is fine with him, he looks confident)

[01/13/2024, 16:29:29] Anastasia: Anna, Roman, we are glad.

We really understand you

And we are ready to help you and Mark so that adaptation is successful, and it is already going well, as follows from the school letter

Believe us, the first stage, the most exciting, was completed by Mark, he is a great fellow.

Let me give you advice simply based on our experience.

You already know without our advice that children read their parents’ emotions, so when talking with Mark, try not to focus on negative aspects, without pushing him towards them; if something is wrong, he will tell you about it himself he will definitely tell you, share, try not to ask provocative questions: “Are you sure you feel good there?”

Even if Mark shares that something didn’t work out, don’t feed his feelings with even greater worries, in this case just support, but not escalating the situation, all issues can be resolved.

It cannot be denied that there is no stress, of course there is: everyday life, new surroundings, language

House parent writes that Mark is not very sociable, which is quite natural

But, believe me, soon there will be no trace left of this)

We hope you feel calmer.

We stay in touch with the school!

 

Day 8 of being at school. 01/16/2024

[16.01.2024, 13:58:20] Anastasia: Good afternoon, Roman, Anna!

The school has sent out a newsletter, please read the information (I have attached a translation of the letter):

Dear parents,

Please see the attached information about the curriculum for your son this semester (file below). This document will provide details of what is covered in each subject, as well as some tips/resources on how you can support your children further. Feel free to contact the relevant teacher if you need further information.

Saturday school.

Thank you very much to those of you who signed up for Saturday School last week. It was a productive morning which I believe made a big difference to those boys who were there. But we did have a significant number of boys who didn't sign up at all. This makes it very difficult for employees to plan appropriate activities. May I ask you, if you would like your son to attend Sabbath school, to register him.

[16.01.2024, 16:16:39] Anastasia: Roman, Anna, thank you for your comments!

And it’s great that Mark participates in all events)

 

Day 9 at school 01/17/2024

[01/17/2024, 00:01:54] Anna: We hope too

No news from Saturday

Maybe write to the school and ask how Mark is feeling and how his adaptation is going today?

[01/17/2024, 11:00:20] Anastasia: Good morning, Roman, Anna!

I wrote to the school, as soon as I receive an answer from them, I will inform you immediately.

[01/17/2024, 11:48:02] Anastasia: I also just received a comment about English classes for Mark)

A school employee will contact you today

Mark has already passed all the tests, the teachers have decided to offer you individual English EAL lessons for Mark

They are ready to start very soon

Please, if you have any questions after her letter or need help with anything, write.

[01/17/2024, 13:18:21] AnAstasia: I received a response from the school regarding additional English lessons:

I welcome you from the EAL department!

We assessed Mark using the Flash Academy testing platform and found that your son would benefit from 1:1 EAL lessons. These private lessons run for 30 minutes and cost £33. Our test results clearly show that your son will make the best progress with 3 lessons per week. These lessons will be specifically tailored to your son's needs and will help him with every aspect of his English language skills.

[01/17/2024, 13:20:20] Anastasia: Roman, Anna, if you have additional questions, please write them to me, I will forward them)</ p>

If you have no questions and you agree, I will fill out the form)

Thank you!

[01/17/2024, 13:39:49] Anna: We agree to 3 lessons per week  English language. Please fill out the required forms

[01/17/2024, 13:40:01] Anna: Let him start studying as quickly as possible

[01/17/2024, 13:43:15] Anastasia: Anna, thank you, I’ll fill it out)

[01/17/2024, 13:58:41] Anna: Thank you

[01/17/2024, 15:07:21] Anastasia: Roman, Anna, about EAL

Everything is done, classes will start soon)

Payment for classes will be included as a separate item in the tuition invoice)

[01/17/2024, 16:22:35] Anastasia: We received this letter from the school from House parent:

Good morning,

I'm sorry Mark didn't call yesterday. He was reminded that he could ask for his phone in the evening to call home. I will remind him again and ask him to call (tell him how things are going and reassure his parents).

Mark is doing well, but sometimes he seems to withdraw from other students and seems to prefer his own company rather than that of his peers. Please could you tell us if this is normal for Mark, or if he is usually very social with a lot of friends? He seems to be enjoying his time in his own company, but he seems content.

[17.01.2024, 16:26:12] Anastasia: You know Mark like no one else, please tell me what is the best answer for us to the school)

Is this behavior typical for Mark?

We would like to add that the adaptation has not yet been completed

The boys are just starting to get used to each other.

[17.01.2024, 16:30:04] Anna: Mark can chat, he can be alone with himself with pleasure. Probably gravitates more towards the second.

[17.01.2024, 16:31:33] Anna: It’s not that we support him in this. I would like him to find friends with similar interests at school.

[01/17/2024, 04:34:15 PM] Anna: The tongue can also hold it back.

But the fact that as a child he did not like to run around in the yard on the playground with his peers, preferring the company of his brother and sister, a computer, books, is a fact

[17.01.2024, 16:34:45] Anna: Please think about how best to explain this to the school

[17.01.2024, 16:35:40] Anastasia: Anna, I just wrote to you about the language.

Perhaps the new language environment also influences this

It seems to us that the result of three individual English lessons will not take long to arrive

[17.01.2024, 16:37:18] Anna: The ability to find interest in other people, communicate and make friends - this was one of our expectations from Mark’s studies at Lockers Park.

I think he needs time

[01/17/2024, 16:37:59] Anastasia: Yes, Anna, of course, I will now form your comments into one letter

In any case, we are waiting for more news from Mark himself. I’m sure you’ll immediately understand from his voice how he’s doing.

We will be grateful if you share your impressions too)

And we continue to keep in touch with the school)

[01/17/2024, 16:38:30] Anna: Knowing the brand, if he doesn’t call when there is such an opportunity, then everything is fine

[01/17/2024, 16:42:38] Anastasia: I understand that you want to hear this from him personally.

But, at the same time, it’s nice to know that the child is so busy with useful activities that he forgets to call) So, after all, there is something there that captivates him)

[17.01.2024, 16:51:05] Anna: I really hope so)

Call and write

 

Day 10 of being at school. 01/18/2024

[01/18/2024, 15:58:34] Anna: Good afternoon

Mark calledtoday, he said that everything is fine with him.

[01/18/2024, 16:00:24] Anastasia: Good afternoon, Anna!

Great news, thank you.

Yes, I saw a letter today from House parent that Mark should definitely call today

[18.01.2024, 16:01:30] Anna: I have a question regarding the exit of January 26-28

Please ask the school if I can pick him up on Friday later than 12.30? My plane lands at Heathrow at 11 am. The drive is about an hour. But the traffic is unpredictable. If I arrive a little later?

[01/18/2024, 16:01:55] Anastasia: Anna, I’m asking, I’ll get back to you with the answer)

[18.01.2024, 16:02:00] Anna: Also, on Friday at 19 or maybe lights out?

[18.01.2024, 16:04:36] Anastasia: Anna, let me clarify, please

Have you or Roman already filled out the form for this long weekend that the school sent?

[18.01.2024, 16:04:57] Anna: Roman

[18.01.2024, 16:05:33] Anastasia: That is, the form is filled out, thank you

I’ll just clarify the time then)

[18.01.2024, 16:08:05] Anna: Oh wait

[18.01.2024, 16:08:24] Anna: I don’t seem to understand what form we are talking about

[01/18/2024, 04:09:18 PM] Anna: I thought you were asking about weekend clubs

[18.01.2024, 16:11:06] Anastasia: I mean this one, just about the long weekend

If you haven’t filled out Roman, please let me know and I’ll do it)

[18.01.2024, 16:14:20] Roman: hello

[01/18/2024, 04:14:29 PM] Roman: we didn’t seem to fill this out

[18.01.2024, 16:15:20] Anastasia: Roman, good afternoon!)

It arrived yesterday and I will fill it out

First, I’ll just contact the school about the time

[18.01.2024, 16:22:21] Anna: Judging by the form, Mark can return to school early in the morning on Monday. And since my flight is only at noon on Monday, we will certainly take advantage of this time. )

[01/18/2024, 04:23:14 PM] Anna: Let the school respond, then fill out the form, yes. Thank you

[01/18/2024, 07:27:03 PM] Anastasia: Anna, good evening!

I am returning to you with comments from the school:

- If you understand that you will not have time to pick up Mark by 12:30, then please just let me know, I will immediately call the school and warn them.

- Mark can be returned to school either on Sunday evening before lights out, or early on Monday morning.

[01/18/2024, 07:29:05 PM] Anastasia: In order for me to fill out the form, I ask you to provide the following information:

- The address where you and Mark plan to stay for the weekend.

- When do you plan to bring Mark back to school.

- Does Mark need to pack some things with him: mobile phone, charger, passport?

[01/18/2024, 07:32:00 PM] Anna: So if I’m late, there won’t be any problems? As soon as I get into the taxi, I will immediately text you the time of my arrival at school.

[01/18/2024, 07:32:47 PM] Anna: When do you need to submit the completed form?

[18.01.2024, 19:34:02] Anastasia: Anna, the main thing is to warn them so that they understand what time Mark will be picked up) I will be in touch with you and the school< /p>

[01/18/2024, 07:36:04 PM] Anastasia: Monday morning

[01/18/2024, 07:43:37 PM] Anna: We’ll send it)

Before that, I need to discuss a couple of questions with Mark when I next call.

[18.01.2024, 19:45:32] Anastasia: Anna, of course!   

Thank you.

 

Day 14 of being at school. 01/22/2024

[01/22/2024, 11:07:33] Anna: Good morning)

We will live with our guardian (you know the address).

I’ll pick it up on Friday around 1-2 p.m. and deliver it by lights out on Sunday. Mark himself wished so.

The things he has on him should be warm clothes. We will walk around London a lot - blue warm trousers with lining, jacket, hat, sweater. He came to school in them. Change of linen. Charging for the phone and the mobile phone itself.

[01/22/2024, 11:09:42] Anastasia: Good morning, Anna!

Thank you, I’m filling out the form)

[01/22/2024, 11:09:46 AM] Anna: Yesterday Mark called in the evening. He spoke for almost 1.5 hours, we listened. He seems very pleased. Apart from his lost athletic form, nothing particularly upsets him. They never get bored. They study from morning until 17.00 then footballl.

[01/22/2024, 11:11:00] Anna: The food is good, I learned to drink milk. For some reason they all love him there. I hope they bring them whole milk)))

[01/22/2024, 11:12:21 AM] Anastasia: Anna, thank you for sharing.

Very cool!

What happened to the form? Do you need to order a new one?)

[01/22/2024, 11:12:32 AM] Anna: He likes the living conditions. He talked a lot about how interesting and fun the subjects are taught. In general, so far not bad. Let's see how it goes further

[01/22/2024, 11:13:00] Anna: Let him search. Why new? Where could she have gone at school.

[01/22/2024, 11:15:49] Anastasia: Great, if you have something to tell, so many impressions, it means everything is good.

About the uniform, yes, of course, it’s somewhere at school)

[01/22/2024, 12:55:59] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: Anna, good afternoon! I read all your messages. I want to express my joy for Mark and gratitude to you: you are wonderful parents, raising a great son, and it’s clear that you are doing everything right and share the values of a British boarding house. Mark will open up more and more, how great it is that you made such a decision!

[22.01.2024, 13:08:11] Anna: Natalya, thank you all for your support

We really hope that everything will be fine for the brand in the future.

[22.01.2024, 13:13:47] Anna: Nastya, I need a scan of the student visa

[22.01.2024, 13:26:06] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: We will watch with pleasure!

I always try to date  by our clients, after the child has started school, since offline conversations often provide new insights and help parents see their future.

If you have a free morning during one of your visits, let us know and we’ll have breakfast in a beautiful place :)

[22.01.2024, 13:27:44] Anna: From March 22 to April 1, we will all be in London. Then we can meet)

[22.01.2024, 13:27:58] Anna: Mark will have a vacation

[22.01.2024, 13:37:50] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: Excellent. I made a note to write to you at the beginning of March :) have a nice day and great luck to Mark!

[22.01.2024, 13:39:27] Anastasia: Anna, please tell me what specific information you need?

I contacted our visa specialist

Since Mark applied with a European passport, he does not have a visa as such

[22.01.2024, 13:40:49] Anna: We are applying for a visa for my mother in London. We would like to attach a study visa stamp to the application documents

[22.01.2024, 13:41:10] Anna: For greater persuasiveness

[01/22/2024, 01:46:53 PM] Anastasia: Anna, are you applying on your own?

Perhaps you can then attach a certificate from the school stating that Mark is studying there, the first page of his passport

[22.01.2024, 13:48:13] Anna: A  there is no document confirming receipt of his study visa?

[22.01.2024, 13:49:04] Anna: And the visa is actually not in the passport itself. But what is it?

[22.01.2024, 13:50:53] Anastasia: The visa status is simply contained in electronic form

[22.01.2024, 13:51:08] Anna: Ok

I will pass it on

[22.01.2024, 14:09:14] Anna: They ask if Mark needs to receive BRP? Is this a plastic residence permit?

[22.01.2024, 14:23:29] Anastasia: Yes, but for holders of European passports it is not necessary

 

Day 21 of being at school. 01/29/2024        

[29.01.2024, 17:26:14] Anastasia: Good afternoon, Roman, Tatyana!

Anna, how was your trip? How's Mark?

We will be grateful if you share your and his impressions, we are very interested.

[29.01.2024, 17:41:09] Anastasia: Incredible weather.

[29.01.2024, 17:41:13] Anna: Good afternoon

Everything is fine

Already at school since yesterday

He likes everything

Just write him out of Squash. He says he doesn’t have time, he’s tired

[29.01.2024, 17:41:24] Anna: We were lucky with the weather over the weekend

[29.01.2024, 17:44:51] Anastasia: I just wanted to ask about additional classes

Does Mark visit other clubs, do you like everything?

[29.01.2024, 17:45:53] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: Now it will be like this almost all the time:) the cherry trees are already blooming and snowdrops have appeared:)

[29.01.2024, 17:46:48] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: Anna, good afternoon:) thanks for sharing:) can I post a photo in my story?</ p>

I don’t know if you watch them, there are a lot of interesting things there :)

[29.01.2024, 18:16:44] Anna: He plays football and basketball

[29.01.2024, 18:19:11] Anna: I didn’t say anything about the rest

Can ask the school

Also, before the exit they had tests on subjects. They were graded on them. He said that everything was fine with him there. But how can I check this, ask them?

[29.01.2024, 18:22:44] Anastasia: Anna, thank you)

Yes, I will write to the school

[29.01.2024, 19:48:04] Natalya Shtrain Paradise: Do you allow me to publish a photo in a story? No last name

[29.01.2024, 19:55:20] Anna: Yes

[29.01.2024, 21:39:10] Anna: In general, ask them about everything about the brand that is appropriate. How do you study? How does he behave? Yes, he is not very sociable with strangers, but, according to him, he communicates with everyone a little. He has a good relationship with teachers.

[29.01.2024, 22:03:23] Anna: And Mark has a problem with the translator pen that the school asked to buy. At school  there is no internet or it is bad. In general, this issue needs to be raised. Tomorrow I’m ready to say it with my voice)

[29.01.2024, 22:31:09] Anastasia: Anna, good evening!

Thank you, I understand, I’ll write a letter to the school and ask for their comments)

[29.01.2024, 22:32:25] Anastasia: Yes, of course, in any convenient way, we will wait)

[01/29/2024, 10:58:18 PM] Anna: Mark has a local SIM card in his phone. But for the handle to work, you must give the phone nearby. Or let them connect the pen to the school Wi-Fi

[29.01.2024, 23:04:09] Anastasia: Anna, I’ll ask how the guys’ pens work) I think this can be solved)

 

Day 23 of being at school. 01/31/2024

[31.01.2024, 14:47:03] Anastasia: Anna, good afternoon!

I hope everything is fine with you!

Anna, the letter was sent to the school on Monday, today I received a response from them that they apologize for the delay, they promise to give answers to all questions by Friday)

[31.01.2024, 14:51:02] Anna: No problem

[31.01.2024, 14:51:24] Anna: Mark should call today. Let's see)

[31.01.2024, 14:53:36] Anastasia: We will wait for news.